For the first time in a while
I remembered to check that page,
and it's blank again. How did this happen?
I was waiting and hoping that you couldn't come back.
But damn you, you stupid thoughts,
you have escaped that page on which
I scribbled you in that nook of my brain
where I keep things to forget about. Now,
instead of being solidly attached to
words and ink and reality on a piece of paper to
ignore, you are wandering around in my head,
so that if I am careless,
I bump into you and you make me stumble.
Why couldn't you stay anchored back there
with the memory of my first
embarrassing moment in second grade
when I mistook a friend for someone else?
Instead I am forced to run from you
cowering, afraid of falling over you,
you stupid thoughts.
Today I guess I kept running until I was the one
in the closet with the door closed, not you. I run
because I cannot fight, but I hate being
caged in here, afraid to come out unless I run
haphazardly, jumping over obstacles and
throwing sheets over everything that moves.
